A DAY IN AN AFRICAN LESBIAN’S LIFE 40
‘Tell me ladies, did any of you ever date men or was it clear for everyone at an early age what their sexual preference was?’ Angel had her elbows on the table with both cheeks cupped in her palms.
They were all tipsy now and the topics getting more interesting, Angel’s friend Alex who had been bugging her to introduce him to her lesbian friends was listening intensely, obviously fascinated by the new topic.
‘I think I always liked women but one is always curious about these things, or maybe it’s the conditioning we get very early in life that makes heterosexuality the default mentality for most everyone,’ Danai said as she stirred her ‘sex on the beach’ with a straw.
‘ I was 16 and so was he…’ she continued. ‘…the sweetest boy in the class probably, he helped me with my homework a lot and on one occasion he tried to kiss me, I let him cause I wanted to know what the fuss was all about, we later dated for awhile and even attempted sex acoupla times, it was passable if memory serves me right.’
Everyone’s eyes were on Danai now and the questions flew, ‘what happened?’ Eve managed to get in above everyone else.
‘He was quite smitten with me hey, like a little puppy, it was OK until this new girl came along, damn that girl was hot!’
‘Did you ever have another boy thing?’ Angel asked.
‘I don’t think I ever quite got the chance, the women…’ she paused for emphasis, ‘they only got more fascinating each passing year.’ Everyone laughed at that, Danai’s eyes met Eve’s across the small round table and they exchanged a knowing smile.
‘And you baby?’ Danai encouraged.
‘Oh yeah, I did date a few okes before I dated women, never lasted and never meant much, it always felt kinda mechanical… I could never feel that emotional connection and the sex was always lukewarm.’
‘ So you never liked women till after that?’ Angel threw in.
The music was quite terrible at Cubana, a few women danced without much rhythm on the dance floor.
‘My love affair with women started way before I even had the desire to act on them, I remember falling for a number of them over the years, from as young as 8, but I never did much about it, blame it on the religious upbringing and the guilt and fear of hell’s eternal fires.’
‘What about now, any guilt or fear?’ Alex piped in.
‘Now… I just feel like there is nothing more true or right, not that it’s easier dating women or anything… all people are complex beings…’ she sipped at her Margarita thoughtfully, ‘it’s only that I don’t mind the drama or issues that they might bring into the relationship, I think that is what sexual preference is all about. What gender can you tolerate or willing to put up with.