A DAY IN AN AFRICAN LESBIAN’S LIFE 52

A DAY IN AN AFRICAN LESBIAN’S LIFE 52

Eve felt a claustrophobic silence everywhere in the house now.
Hard to imagine such a small apartment being so loud with no one talking.
The bed stretched on for miles… four corners that went on for days, she didn’t sleep in it anymore; she fell asleep in front of the TV, watching Danai’s favourite chef make a dish with mushrooms and chicken, silently. Kylie kwong sprinkled salt here and drizzled wine there, smiling so cheerfully.

Eve took another drag of the dry rose she hadn’t bothered to pour in a glass and swallowed, sadness in her movements, she missed her…
She missed her breath, silence and presence. She missed the warmth of her beautiful body, her breasts – soft and full, even with the new chill in the air, they had slept only partially covered.

She missed the meaningless words they shared: ‘pass the salt’, ‘I’m making coffee,do you want some?’, ‘gosh, did you see what the tsunami did to japan?, I think the world is ending babe.’ ‘Oh come on, not for at least another 1000 years. Well if it does, I want it to end with you in my arms.’  her beautiful laugh…

She missed the cuddles and kisses, the touches and hisses. In the night, when she woke up horny, she missed reaching out and igniting her, sleepily making love. Moving with her softly, gently, wordlessly, until they both breathed softer and fell asleep again in each other’s arms.

She had tried calling again today; for the entire week she tried calling everyday and still Danai refused to talk to her. She sent endless messages that were deleted before they were read – lamenting the pain in her chest and how she couldn’t bear it not the noise and silence in her head, and the loneliness.

‘I miss you’, she wrote several times a day and pressed the green button. What more could she say.

Words seemed so meaningless with the silence that had invaded her existence.

She cried.

She hadn’t cried over anybody in a while, never this much. Sloppily licking her tears, wiping the mucous from her nose on the spread.

And yet the silence continued.